Flawed

So mom's been giving me a hard time that I haven't posted anything on this blog for a while so I went through and found one that I think is ok. I wrote this back in March which was kind of a rough month for me but I think it has some good ideas in it. I don't know, lemme know what you think about it:

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” –Alexander Pope. I’ve always looked at this quote from the vantage point of one that has been wronged. I figured what it was saying is the importance for forgive of one’s flaws because, hey, we’ve all got them. But then reality forced me to take another look. You see, I, at least, like to think that Pope was speaking of more than the outside world when he said these famous words. Instead, maybe he was speaking of himself. You see we all have flaws, that’s obviously stated, so are only the flaws of those around you subject to divine forgiveness?

Alright, what I’m really getting at here in this ramble of philosophical garbage is that it is as important, if not more important, to forgive yourself for your own flaws. See, to most people, the idea of a flaw comes with such a negative connotation that those inside our own character have been hidden to such a depth of our consciousness that sometimes we don’t even realize that they are there. But why? I commonly subscribe, and I will never be shy to defend this, to the idea that people are good at the core and that it is the choices they make that makes them go bad. So if all people are born good, and flaws are a part of life, can they really be that bad that they must be suppressed beyond personal recognition?

Now don’t get me wrong, flaws aren’t good things, but they’re a part of everyone’s life. The healthiest way I can figure dealing with them is to simply accept them. Once you have recognized and totally accepted your flaws, you can now work around them. For instance, I know for a fact that if I’m not made to, I will procrastinate. So basically, I have now set up fool proof ways to force me to do what needs to get done. And if this effects friendships of whatever, if they’re not committed enough to accept your flaws, they’re not friends worth having. “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” So forgive yourself. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Failure

Failure. This is one of the most feared and most respected words and concepts in the modern world. The fear of failure rules our every action and thought and commonly blocks the longing for achievement. This is how we live and yet this is wrong. We should never allow the fear of the negative outweigh the want for the positive. The minute we allow it to, we allow the bad to rule our lives and begin down the often short but devastating road of pessimism.
So failure is a topic to which I have devoted many hours of thought to as of late. You see, after 13 years leading into four years of high school sports, I faced a possible end to my sporting career this past couple weeks. The sport was wrestling and the occasion was the season ending tournaments, starting with Area. I had a wrestle off and if I lost, my season would be over. I wrestled with this idea of failure in the beginning and eventually lost my wrestle off. I could have easily looked at this lost as a final failure in a long career and allowed it to shape how I looked back at my athletic history. But then I chose to think again.
Before I continue, I want to give a slight disclaimer. I’m about to discuss how my faith stepped in. I happen to be a Christian. If you’re not, instead of reading “God” think “Fate” or “Karma” or whatever higher deity you choose to believe in. If you’re not religious at all, then don’t read this for an account of how I saw it. Instead, look at it as how someone can reshape how they feel about a situation, and therefore benefit from it. I’m in no way trying to convert anyone to my religious system, I’m simply telling of the factual way you can affect your world. With that out of the way, I return to the story.
I’ve always been told that “all things happen for a reason” and that “God works in mysterious ways.” Well I began to understand this over the last week. I started to look back on all the things I did as a wrestler and all the hard work I put into it. You see, the way I saw it, I had worked far too hard over my four years to not be doing better than I was doing. So maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. My actual wrestling and the things I accomplished in it is only a blip in the hopefully long timeline that will be my life. But the lessons I learned about the world and more importantly about myself will continue to serve me for the rest of my days. For example, my Great Uncle was a very successful wrestler in his high school days, I believe winning state one year. Winning state is the greatest individual achievement a high school athlete can achieve, but I only know that my Uncle did this through a small side comment in a conversation I had with him. He would go on for days about his wife, his children, his achievements in the workplace, but winning state was only a side comment in another conversation. In 50 years, no one will remember how I did at Area, or how I did at State, the only thing they will remember is that I wrestled and that I used the lessons I learned from the sport to achieve in the things that were really important.
The moment I chose to relook at my situation as not a failure but as part of the bigger picture, I was able to see God’s plan for me with a little more clarity. You see, I may have thought that a came back to wrestling my senior year to win, but it was more than that. I was meant to wrestle to gain something much bigger than a medal. I gained knowledge. I learned how to push myself past what I once thought I could do. I learned confidence about myself and how I can do much more than I may have once believed if I only devote my energy to it. I learned how to walk out on the stage that is life and stare my obstacles directly in the eyes as an equal if not lesser adversary, instead of cowering from it with little hope of success. And, ultimately, I learned to keep my faith. The past few months have taught me that God’s got my back. Call it fate, call it luck, call it God’s plan I know that there is a reason behind everything I do and that if I just look past the obvious success or failure, there is a deeper meaning. I have grown because of my senior wrestling season and although my career is over, I will benefit from the things I have learned for the rest of my life.
So the next time you feel afraid of a looming failure or have already failed the task at hand, take another look at it. Maybe the gold at the end of the rainbow simply looks different than what you expected. Keep the faith and keep on trucking. You can only lose if you allow yourself to be beaten.

Karma

So hey, I just decided to write about my thoughts about Karma while sitting at home sick. I know it's long, but trust me, it's good. I'd love to hear what yall think about it :) :

Whether you call it fate, divine intervention, or just plain luck, Karma influences all our lives. From the start of all our lives it has been taught to us that good things come to those who are good to others. You know the golden rule? Well have you ever wondered why simply “Treat others how you’d like to be treated,” or my personally favorite version “Don’t punch a small kid if you don’t want his big brother to punch you,” is so important it’s golden? Well have you ever thought about what that rule is really describing? It’s Karma. You can go ahead and argue till you’re blue about “Karma doesn’t exist” and “that’s just superstition” but look, maybe you call it by a different name but if the idea of Karma doesn’t exist, why is the golden rule devoted to it? That’s what I thought, now shut up and listen.

Bad people and bad actions bring about bad consequences. This is a fact. Sure, people sometimes seemingly get away with it, but eventually it catches up, but more on that later. Personally, being a Christian, I see Karma as the God’s influence in the world. Without it, people would have to spend a lifetime doing well and never be repaid until they died. Now that reward is more than worth it, but life would still kinda suck. Thanks to Karma, people can see the benefits of their actions before death, an attractive deal at that. Those who believe differently than me will commonly see Karma as the overruling force in the universe, either that or fate. Call it what you will; Karma is the universe’s system of bringing good fortune to those who deserve it.

“Wait a minute Mr. Man, plenty of good things has happened to me that I had done nothing to deserve. How does your little Karma idea explain that?” Well Mr. Pessimist, Karma doesn’t always work after the fact. On many occasions, Karma, often called luck in this situation, will bring good fortune in expectation of a good deed. Now understand, if you’ve already gotten the reward, why would you ever actually do the good deed, they’re such a hassle anyway. Well if Karma’s being good to you, you’ll want to stay on its good side. You do this by doing good by the world. Karma isn’t asking for you to adopt a child from an improvised nation and open a local soup kitchen, save that for Oprah. Just be pleasant to those around you. I know it’s corny as all get out but its true when they say that a little smiley goes a long way. All pessimistic and unhappy people have a congruent problem, they hate people. So why not go a little out of your way to be pleasant. Make this a part of your daily routine and how you interact with people, and in no time it will no longer be going out of your way. And it will make you happier. Karma will repay you, maybe not through things you can see or measure, but one day you will look back at the person you were, and you will see how your actions and Karma has shaped you to become a happier person. Don’t bash it until you try it.

Now Karma’s happy side is nice and all, but it must be known that Karma is a double edged sword. Just as much as it rewards those who have done well, it punishes those who do wrong. Now, I’m not trying to make Karma sound like a harsh caped-crusader beating up wrong-doers, so let me redefine “wrong” for my purposes. As far as Karma is concerned, the world works as a balance. Haha, maybe those crazy Taoists were on to something with that Ying Yang stuff. So anything that has any negative aspects, from laughing at a friend getting shot down to killing a hobo, builds up the negative. So Karma must come in and teach a lesson in a way. Every time you do something mean; you have to face the unlucky side effects of your actions. Maybe in this way you can learn to at least think about the risk/reward situation before doing something unsavory.

Karma’s at its best when it plays on irony. This is where you really start to think. Commonly, especially in moments of ridicule, Karma will almost immediately and normally comically hit you with the very thing that you were just making fun of someone else about. For instance, have you ever been making fun of someone for tripping and falling or hitting a wall and then immediately turn around and kicked a nearby chair? Fast-action Karma. But just often as Karma shows itself quickly, it delays its action.

All those who aren’t deep thinkers, go ahead and stop reading, I’d hate for you to get a little headache in that little head of yours. See its many of those with limited frontal lobe development that argue that they get away with things all the time without any consequence. What they don’t realize is that Karma is simply waiting for them. Many times, it is allowing you to reconcile the problem yourself. If this balance isn’t manually restored in enough time, that’s when Karma hits the hardest. That’s when Karma hits your character. Every action in one’s life influences the character that will shape their every action. As the person begins to believe that they can totally escape punishment for their dishonest actions, Karma begins to cheapen their character. As your character cheapens, so does everything else in your life. The inability to truly value anything in your life is the sole characteristic that will take everything and leave your very existence empty. Ever seen The Christmas Carol? Maybe you should sometime.

So in the last however long it has taken you to read this, I hope you have gotten to think about the idea of Karma. You may still believe what you want but every other belief system contains Karma just by a different name. And as good old Will Shakespeare said, “What’s in a name” anyway? So maybe you can figure out how to make Karma on your side. If it is, life can be great. Please allow me to leave you now with a few pieces on advice. Always be pleasant to others, it’s not that hard and it will bring nothing but good fortune. Always think before you act, risk vs. reward is always advised. And finally, be optimistic. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time.

Me :)

Reflecting on another summer well done

Hey guys, I'm back! I know, I know, it's been a while. I'm sorry, I really am, but you know how summer goes. I was busy. But summer is over and school has started. But although classes have started and the first tests have been taken, I refuse to totally give up my summer quite yet. So, if you don't mind, I will take this opportunity to reminisce on my recent past:
So with May came heat, and with heat comes the pool. As it does every year, the pool immediately hypnotized me and most of my friends and our tranfixion on that beautiful, cool to the touch, man-made body of water almost dragged us to the pool on a daily basis. No, I never got a tan.
Sadly, as it always does, May became June and June meant wrestling. Now I love wrestling and all, but it really does suck to have to leave the pool midday to go roll around with sweaty dudes. But as far as the summer season is concerned, I definitely can't complain. I did fairly well comparatively, probably from hitting the Wrestling Academy in the off season a little, and I'm really pumped for my senior season. I'm looking for a good ending result. Keep riding the wave i was on when the summer ended, beating Lane for a 3rd place finish in the final summer tournament. :D (Wow, that smiley really does look very good on this. And it works so well in text :( )
Well June ended in a bang, me and Celia split up. It sucked, but I really think it was the right decision. I'm doing pretty well right now, but I'll get back to that. So with a bittersweet heart we embarked as a family to the happiest place on Earth. No, not Disney World, Savannah GA silly! I don't know if I've ever touched on this in past posts, but Savannah is hands down my favorite place on this planet. If ever there was a city that could pull me away from all the family and other ties I have in this part of town, it would be Savannah. I absolutely LOVE it down there, and I thourely enjoyed this last trip. It was really good to get away from it all for 5 days and just enjoy life for what it is, an idea I believe everyone should strive for. And with our return to Snellville, July continued to be good. I was able to just hang out here, do what I wanted, and never go to bed angry. I went to the annual Edisto trip, which rocked, although it was really weird without Sam. (I admit it Sammy, I missed you up there. We all did.) The week after Edisto was a little weird, Sam and Alex being at band camp and the Steeles hanging at the beach, but between Brian and my bff Jen Coe, I managed to enjoy myself.
Well now we enter the month in which we currently reside, August. The first 9 days were crazy, all us crazy kids trying to fit in the last bit of fun before school started. I turned 17 the first day of school, love most of my classes, and as of the time I'm writing this, I'm not behind yet. (This could be quite different by the time you read this.) I gots me a new girl friend :) After I obviously turned my swag on (YEAH! :P) before a get together at Dad's friend Dwight's casa (house for those of you who don't habla) and danced rather badly, his step daughter Caycee decided she kinda likes me, and I def like her too. So we've been going out for about a week, and I'll keep you updated on that. But for now I guess it's time to give up the ghost on last summer and move on. Here comes school, here comes responsibility, and here comes cold. I tell you though, it was fun while it lasted.

Just to let you know

Hey everybody, I know, it's been a while. Sorry. But I've just been hanging out lately and I just haven't been on here in a while to post anything. It's not like there are many of yall readin this anyway. Well, not much has really changed in the last month. I've just been living and chilling out. I had a good spring break! It was mainly hanging at the house with buddies or meeting people for dinner, but it's been fun. Me and Celia are good, or maybe Celia and I? Idk, I hate grammer rules, they've been mean to me lately. For instance, my middle name, I spell wrong all the time. It's Keith, but I always spell it Kieth. I before E right? If I recall, it's I before E except after C, or when sounding like A something something, example. Well K isn't a C and there is no "A" sound in Keith, so why the HECK is it EI and not IE?!? Makes no sense to me. But anyway, Celia and I are great, we hit 6 months today. She was gone most of spring break, but she's back now so we can hang out again :). But now, to the meat of why I wrote this blog. I'm not sure if anyone who reads this doesn't know now, but I'm not going to play football this year for Brookwood. After the season this year, I weighed my options and decided that I would regret not concentrating on wrestling and seeing how far I get more than I would not playing and missing out on another losing season under a stupid, arrogant coach. Not that I'm not going too miss this year, I love the sport and the kids I play with are great, but I just can't see choosing football over a possibly successful wrestling season. I play very little role in seeing how far the football team goes, I more just ride that wave, but I fear being solely knocked out of the sectional or state tournament and having to forever wonder, "How far could I have made it?" So, I've decided against a senior season of football, and I've enrolled in the Wrestling Academy along with Coach Cicora's wrestling class in school, and I'm gonna see how far I can go. I apoligize if this somehow dissapoints you, but I think I've made the right choice. Well, Ima go, Ill try to blog again soon. Until then, try to enjoy your life as it is, and I hope to see you soon.

Snow Day

Hey, I just wanted to give a little watsup to my homies... yea, yall are my homies, maybe talk about my weekend, and remove any accusations that I haven't posted in a while. Well, this last week has been great. It's amazing, now that I'm getting home on time, it seems like I have gained another half of the day. I've been doing random stuff in the afternoon like, for instance, cataloging my recorded tapes and setting up our new dvd player, just because I can. I'm so productive now! Well, Friday, the Sober Circle went to laser tag, bowling, then stayed at Alex's house. That's always fun. We were all buzzed most of the time from energy drinks and a 5 hour energy shot, so that added to the fun. I saw a hilarious comedian at Alex's, his name is John Caparulo. If you've never heard of him, stop reading now and look him up. I'll warn you that he does cuss, but most of his content is clean. Then, Friday night/early Saturday morning we watched the movie Boondock Saints. Don't worry, I hadn't heard of it either except when Nathan would mention it, it's his favorite movie. But, now that I've seen it, I have to agree, it's a kick-butt movie. I'm not gonna go ruin it by giving a summary, but once your done watching Caparulo on YouTube, you need to go out and rent this movie. You won't be sorry you did. Then Sunday it snowed, and I played outside with some neighbors, that's also always fun. Monday, we had a snow day, which is great. Cobb county didn't have the day off, which is sad for my cousin Chaz, but it kind of makes me feel good inside that, for once, Gwinnett wasn't the only school to open, it was Cobb. But if you read this Chaz, I was thinking about you. I spent the day mostly at home, and I went to see Fired Up with Celia. I don't recomend the movie, but I definetly couldn't complain about the company. Well, Ima let yall go, just wanted to check up. Take care!

Death to all Tyrants! (Collins Hill :( )

Hey, sorry about how this worked out. I was blogging Friday, but I lost track of time and Mom showed up and I had to leave to go to State and cheer on my teammates. Well, I'm home from State, I'm exhausted, and I'll probably have to finish this post tomorrow morning, but I'm happy. I really wish I had gone to State to match last year, it really has changed my idea of my priorities. I don't know what it was, but seeing the joy in every one's faces when someone won the match to place or something, it made me want that. I can hardly imagine hopping around on that center mat, with everyone watching, looking in the face of my family sitting in the corner of the mat during the finals. It has to be such a satisfying feeling and state of mind. Even just making it to State would be huge. I mean think, you make it to the show, even if you lose two straight matches and get out, your still top 16 in the state. That's really good. And with Brookwood being a AAAAA school, this is the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the botta of the bing (idk, I'm reachin'). This whole varsity wrestling experience is making me rethink next year. I'm kind of kicking around the idea of not playing football next year. I just have to wonder where I could be one year from now if I only concentrate on Wrestling, and I don't think playing, more like watching from really good seats, Brookwood football is worth not testing it out. I want to be sure that, when I'm done next year, I can know that I didn't miss any chances, and I'm afraid playing football will prove itself to have been a waste of time and effort. It is kind of sad to think of not playing that senior year, but I just think my passion for wrestling outweighs any benefits football will bring me.
But anyway, to the tournament. I have to say, this was some of the most exciting, intense wrestling that I have ever seen. The whole stinkin tournament was upsets. It was crazy. Brookwood had two people place, seniors Joe Epps, 5th at 130, and Corbin Neilson, 4th at 215. That was good, and they had some crazy matches, but I have to say, there were others that were great. For instance, there is a heavyweight from Union Grove names Mena who is half minivan. He's huge, and scary huge. He's cut as all get-out, built in a V shape, but has to cut weight to make 285. His shoulders are at least twice as wide as mine. Well, big shock, he was picked by many to win State this year. He had a rough match against some white kid, who's school I can't remember right now, and lost in overtime. Then yesterday, after pinning his first opponent in 8 seconds, met a sophomore from Central. Somehow, Mena was pinned in the 3th period, and we all almost passed out in excitement. But that wasn't the only intense match of the weekend, although I won't bore you with two many stories.
However, I will bore you with one more, in order to express the true feeling of the weekend and thus explain the title of this blog. Ok, Parkview and Grayson lost a special part of my heart the last few days. As of today, Collins Hill holds sole possession of the most disliked school in my mind. Those were the most obnoxious, snobby, good :(, loud, pain-in-the-butt, classless group of people I have ever had to spend considerable time with. Those stupid fans had every noicemaking tool and technique, and wouldn't shut up. They were considerably obnoxious. Seriously, it seems, no matter what team you were from, you cheered for the guy wrestling the Collins Hill kid. I cheered for kids from places even like Parkview and Grayson, just because they were wrestling Collins Hill. Then, they had 6 wrestlers in the finals. Well, they had won 5 and were waiting anxiously, but sadly not quietly for their 6th wrestler. He was a 215 from Valdosta, and was counted out from the beginning. No one figured that anyone could touch the kid from Collins Hill. However, the score was only 1-0 in the 3rd with Valdosta on bottom. Well, with about 40 seconds left in the match, Collins Hill started to stall. For those of you not familiar with the sport of Wrestling, stalling is when you cause yourself to get into a position where, while your not doing anything, the other wrestler can't do anything either. I you do this for over 5 seconds, you get warned. Do it again, it's a point for the other guy. Well, with I believe 37 seconds left, Collins Hill gets hit with a second stalling call. Now it's all tied up. This causes Collins Hill's little cheering section to flip. Their coach calls the Refs over to discuss the call, for a long time I might add, and my favorite part of the match occurred. Most people were pretty chill at this moment because all the other mats were done, so the AAAAA final was the only one going, and there weren't many Valdosta people there. Well, once Collins Hill's fans quited, the Collin's Hill wrestler waved his hands for them to cheer again. This causes them to chant something... I'm sure they practise that by the way. Well, in an attempt to salvage something, the Valdosta gives one wave to his small section of Valdosta fans. However, the entire arena, everyone from every school other than Collins Hill, stood up and started to chant his name. Most people didn't even know the kids name and had to look it up, but never fail, the Collins Hill people were immediately covered up. I loved it. Sure enough, after fighting for a little, Valdosta got an escape with 2 seconds left and won. The place went WILD. It was one of the moments you just had to sit back and observe. It was the ultimate David and Goliath story, only Goliath's obnoxiously loud friends and family were there to see it. It was great, and really put a capitalization point on a great tournament. Well, I could definitely sit here and talk about the tourney all day, but its actually really early Sunday morning now, and I need to go to sleep. But if you want to read more, you can always read the tiny one I wrote Friday, since I'm sure you haven't yet. Well, if you made it this far, thanks for reading all of this, I kinda got long-winded. Well, I'll blog again soon, till then, take care!